Truth about Latin Cupid and Latin mail order brides
Foreign Bride Questions:
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Here are some general pointers (which I repeat may not apply to all Brazilian women):
1) There is a strong sense of family in Brazil. The extended family is also important. Married people or people in committed relationships do not go to “Boys Night Out” or “Girls Night Out” where they can flirt with other people. Men might play soccer with their buddies in the afternoon, women might have a coffee and shoppping with their female friends, but they do not go out at night and leave their partner alone at home. No strip clubs for men in committed relationships either. That is all a no no and even shocking for us Brazilians.
2) When it comes to engagement and weddings, Brazilian women are used to some different things. We do not require you spend thousands on a diamond ring. We do not have that tradition (see my post about engagement rings). We are happy with a simpler ring or just the wedding bands. Some of us though, after living in America and seeing so many De Beers ads, may want a diamond ring too.
3) Do not even think of having a dalliance with hookers and strippers just because it is your bachelor’s party. We consider that cheating and don’t be surprised if your fiance cancels the wedding if she finds it out. We do not even have the bachelor party tradition. Very few men celebrate that, while the bride’s friends do get together to get her presents for her new home. Sometimes men participate as well (a tradition that is also starting here).
4) Latin people in general are more emotional and more possessive, keep that in mind when you fight with her.
5) Women are raised to be feminine, to do female things (they may have piano and ballet lessons, not baseball or rough sports). Many are stil raised to get married and have babies as the first focus and their career as a secondary pursuit-a necessary evil. Women are encouraged to spend a lot of their time in their looks-body, clothes and hair. Staying attractive is sine qua non in a culture that judges people by how they look.
6) Even though racism is not as pervasive and divisionary as in the U.S.A., lighter skinned Brazilians look down on darker skinned Brazilians. They see darker Brazilians as belonging to the lower social classes.
7) Brazil still has a strong division of classes. Not only it is quite visible but there is little interaction between the classes (unless the “lower classes” are working for the “higher” ones). Sad but true.
8) Many middle class Brazilian girls were raised with maids. Therefore, they are not used to doing housework, which is seen as something beneath them. Working with your hands in Brazil is also associated with the lower classes.
Remember that Brazil had slavery just like the American South, and one of the consequences of slavery is that it can take several generations for their descendants to reach the same level of success in life that their former owners had. Therefore, Brazilians from African descent became part of the struggling poor in Brazil-they had a harder time getting education and better jobs. Fortunately this situation is slowly improving. Brazilian men and women oftentimes do not know how to fix things or are impractical dure to cheap labor and being catered to all their lives.
9) Brazilian women expect the man to be a gentleman. They like a man who opens doors, drives them places, changes their oil, etc. when it comes to practical things. But when it comes to decision making, Brazilian women are opinionated and are not shrinking violets. They expect you to respect them and share your decisions with them if part of a couple.
10) Never, under any circumstances, call your GF or wife the B word. Name calling in Brazil is considered extremely offensive, and a man should never call his wife names no matter how terrible the argument is. A wife, like a mother or a daughter, is sacred. American movies show a lot of cursing (the F word seems to be the most popular). Brazilians associate cursing with gangsters and lowlifes.
11) The mother in law thing. Many older women in Brazil are in dire economical situation due to widowhood, divorce, lack of opportunities, low paid jobs. The older generation of women did not usually work outside the home. Therefore, they expect their children to take care of them. Many of these mothers interfere in their childrens’ relationships and try to control their daughters or sons.
They are also often lonely and live vicariously through their offspring. They use guilt tactics to keep the children catering to their needs and see the children-in-law as the devil themselves. They take their kids’s side if they have problems with their spouses and sometimes destroy marriages with their interference. Not every mother in law is like that: the ones with careers, the ones in happy relationships and the ones with a life of their own. So beware of the dependant MIL!
12) You and her (or him, in case of an American woman with an American man) might have differences when it comes to how to use your time. Brazilians consider Sunday sacred. It is not a day to work, but a day to lounge around, go to the beach, have a barbecue by the pool, watch soccer or Formula One, visit with friends, go sightseeing, nap or watch movies and other leisure actitivities.
Saturday they might run errands, but never on Sundays! It is not only the Catholic influence but also the fact that in their minds, the work week is for work, while the weekend is for pleasure and rest. So if you like to tinker with your car, wash your car, rebuild the roof, clean the garage or mow the lawn on a Sunday you will find resistance. She will feel abandoned. In her mind, you should be with her and not ignoring her with “chores”. Not only that, she was raised seeing her Dad pay someone to do those things. The help works, the middle class and the upper middle class rests and plays.
13) Once you marry and have children with a Brazilian, you have to understand some cultural differences when it comes to being a couple. In Brazil, the focus is on the COUPLE. The children come second. You and your wife are the main unit, not you and your kids. Many American men and women turn their focus to the children after they are born , spending little alone time with their spouse.
Not spending enough alone time with your spouse, not romancing them and spending too much time on the kids can create resentment.
Brazil does not have the “Daddy and Daughter” culture. Children spend time with their parents together, not with only one parent. Telling your kids how much you love them, hugging and kissing them all the time and not doing the same with your spouse can create resentment. Brazilians want the romance to continue, no matter how long you have been married. They want to walk hand in hand, they want some PDA, they want to know they come first.
14) Finally the good stuff: because of the strong family sense and their natural warmth, Brazilian women are very loyal, family oriented, feminine looking and affectionate companions!
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